“Start with a less expensive model,” Fleming advises beginners. “Sometimes trying a more affordable model gives you a sense of what a sensation is like and whether you like it.” Of course, if you already know what feeling you like and you need a recommendation for the best sex toy that aligns with that, we’ve got you too.
What should men know when trying new sex toys?
Whip out that new toy when you’re actually turned on (and not as a way to turn yourself on). “Think of it as foreplay,” Fleming says. “If you want to build up reception to a new toy, start off when you’re already highly aroused. The research is clear that people tend to be more open and receptive when already aroused.”
And if you don’t like the sensation of a new toy the very first time you use it, don’t give up on it just yet. “The first time we try anything, we’re doing what we call spectatoring, which is observing ourselves, how it’s going, what we thought, what our partner thought. We’re in our heads and not so much in the experience,” says Fleming. “So try, try again.”
Below, find our experts’ top picks for masturbation sleeves, prostate massagers, cock rings, butt plugs, dildos, and more, from best-selling retailers and brands such as Lovehoney, We-Vibe, Lelo, Hot Octopuss, and Tenga. Just don’t forget to throw good lube in your cart and clean up your toys after.
Best Masturbation Sleeves
Masturbation sleeves (also known as strokers or penis sleeves) are cylindrical sleeves or canal-shaped sex toys that envelop the penis and are either open-ended or closed. “These sleeves work well for solo stimulation, as they’re like giving yourself a hand job, or your partner can stimulate you with it,” Frye-Nekrasova says.
These various strokers can be textured on the inside (like the Tenga Egg, an egg-shaped disposable masturbation sleeve), while others (such as the Fleshlight Pink Lady) mimic human anatomy in look and feel (and are usually closed-ended). “Because of the suction or vibration, there’s an arousing, pleasurable sensation,” Fleming says. “Most men will get erect and it will bring them to orgasm.”
Often made of soft silicone, the sleeves come in both non-vibrating and vibrating models. The vibrating models are known as power strokers or penis stimulators, as they’re powered by a motor that adds a stroking motion. “To really explore a different stimulation that’s not just digital, manual stimulation, go for a power stroker,” Frye-Nekrasova says. “For the majority of your life with a penis, you’ve likely stimulated yourself only by hand, so introducing a new form of stimulation by way of a power stroker is going to do things for you that you probably never expected.”
The Hot Octopuss Pulse Duo masturbation sleeve has an adjustable design that fits to any girth, and its open design makes it possible to wear during penetrative sex as well. Sex educator Cassandra Corradotold SELF that this is a nice option for men who have difficulties with erections because “you can use it without getting hard.” Instead of a motor, the remote-controlled Pulse Duo uses oscillation to “create an intense sensation for the wearer,” she explains.
Frye-Nekrasova highly recommends the ArcWave Ion, a unique male masturbator that focuses on stimulating the frenulum (the highly sensitive vein on the underside of the penis shaft) with pulsating airwaves. “This offers a completely new world of stimulation that many male sex toy users are not used to because there’s no other product like it,” she says.
Lovehoney Blowmotion Warming Vibrating Male Masturbator
For a vibrating masturbation sleeve, Frye-Nekrasova likes the Blowmotion, which warms and mimics the feel of engaging in penetration with a human partner or receiving a blow job.
Best Prostate Massagers
Looking to give anal sex toys a try? Prostate massagers are one way to get started. These toys are shaped and designed to target the prostate gland, which is a walnut-size gland behind the penis, inside the pelvis, and between the bladder and rectum. Similar to the female G-spot, this gland is known as the P-spot, and stimulating it can feel amazing. For those who have never explored the prostate, hand stimulation can be intimidating, Frye-Nekrasova says, which is why a sex toy is helpful: “Using a toy allows for more exploration without having to step out of your comfort zone too much, and I will die on the hill of encouraging everyone with a prostate to stimulate it.”
Complete with remote control and vibrating motors in its tip and base, the Lelo Hugo is a smooth, medium-size prostate massager that leads to large-size orgasms. It’s a favorite of Adina Mahalli, MSW, relationship expert, and women’s health specialist at Maple Holistics, who previously noted to SELF that the Hugo makes an excellent toy for women to try too.
Babeland
Aneros MGX Syn Trident
“Aneros is a brand whose entire line is designed specifically for not only providing prostate pleasure but with prostate health in mind,” Lisa Finn, sex educator and brand manager for Babeland, told SELF. The sleekly contoured, self-pivoting design of the Trident prostate massager allows for blissful stimulation of both the prostate and perineum (which lies between the anus and genitals for men), and its flared base and P-tab stops provide external sensations and ensure the toy doesn’t move around. “You can comfortably massage and stimulate this hot spot internally and externally at once—up and down or in and out, and in any position,” Finn says.
The We-Vibe Vector is a Bluetooth-enabled, app-controlled prostate massager, that can be controlled from a phone (even remotely). Fleming previously told SELF that the Vector works both for masturbation and partnered play, and she appreciates its 10 “whisper-quiet, powerful vibration settings.”
Best Butt Plugs
Another safe and satisfying way to dip your, er, toe in the anal sex pool? “Butt plugs are great for starting out in anal stimulation so that you can get used to the feeling of something inserted anally,” Frye-Nekrasova says, advising that newbies start small before working their way up to larger anal toys like dildos. Butt plugs come in a range of sizes, textures, and materials. Some vibrate, others are made of heavy metal that provides lots of pressure, while others mimic the sensation of rimming.
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