Actually Realistic Advice for How to Share Your Sexual Fantasies

If the idea of sharing your sexual fantasies makes you want to crawl out of your skin, welcome to the club. Talking about sex with a partner is a vulnerable act anyway, and voicing your sexual fantasies can leave you feeling extra exposed, especially if you think those fantasies are embarrassing or taboo. You might […]

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5 Signs an Open Relationship Could Be Right for You

Here’s a universal truth we generally don’t discuss enough: It’s totally normal to fantasize about other people even when you’re so happy in a relationship that your heart almost bursts every time your partner wrinkles their nose right before laughing at one of your terrible puns. That definitely doesn’t always mean that you want to […]

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6 Reasons Your Vagina Feels Sore After Sex and What to Do About It

When it comes to bodily pains, having a sore vagina ranks right up there with having your wisdom teeth pulled. OK, maybe not, but it’s really uncomfortable. And contrary to what you might believe, sex isn’t supposed to be painful (and by the way, we’re not talking about consensual pain during sex—we mean the kind […]

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5 Tips for Buying Your Very First Vibrator

Shopping for your first vibrator is kind of like when Alice tumbled down that rabbit hole: a little scary and possibly confusing but ultimately a pretty exhilarating trip into a whole new world. Welcome to wonderland. As a sex coach and educator, I’ve got to say that one of my favorite things about vibrators is […]

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Sex Therapists Share the Sex Fears They Hear All the Time

Fun sex things to talk about: enthusiastic consent, pleasure, sex toys, kink, orgasms, positions, intimacy. Less fun sex things to talk about: insecurity, inadequacy, unwelcome pain, dysfunction, internalized stigma, embarrassment. Understandable. No one wants to sit around chatting about their deepest sexual anxieties. But when you rarely see people having these less sexy conversations, it’s […]

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9 People With Vaginas on Their Favorite Ways to Orgasm

From eating ice cream cones to packing suitcases, people have interesting tricks for getting things done in their own unique ways. Despite what many cookie-cutter movie scenes may tell us, the same is true when it comes to our sex lives. As a certified sex educator and coach, I’ve found that the list of things […]

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9 Sex Toy Mistakes You Might Be Making

The best thing about sex toys is that you can pretty much use them in whatever way brings you pleasure. It’s your body, so you get to pick what toys to use and how: the shape, the type of touch, the intensity, the location, and a lot more. It’s like the world’s most pleasurable choose […]

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I’m a Sex Coach, and I Swear By Scheduling Sex in Relationships

If you’ve ever been in a long-term relationship, this might sound familiar: You and your partner tumble into bed at the end of each day completely exhausted, promising yourselves you’ll have sex tomorrow. Then that tomorrow-sex rarely comes, pun fully intended. As a certified sex coach and sexologist, I often hear about how difficult it […]

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The Case for Telling Your Partner Exactly How You Want to Feel During Sex

You’re lying in bed, your partner’s head is between your legs, and you’re not exactly going wild with pleasure. If only they realized that your clitoris is an inch higher than where they’re determinedly lapping away. Well, this is never going to happen, you might think. Do I just chill here until they’re bored, or…? […]

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We Asked 15 People With Vaginas How to Make Oral Sex Even Better

The pleasure of oral sex is, for many people, one of the joys of being human. As a sex educator and coach, you might say I’m on a mission to let everyone know that cunnilingus is fabulous to give and to receive. Might I remind you that the clitoris—the rosebud-like bump at the top of […]

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Uncircumcised Penis: 11 Things Everyone Should Know

It’s time to talk about uncircumcised penises. We here at SELF give vaginas a lot of attention, which makes sense. But penises—including uncircumcised penises in particular—deserve their time in the sun, too. Why the emphasis on the uncircumcised penis instead of, well, all of them? I don’t know about you, but I’ve heard a fair […]

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Here’s Everything You Need to Know About Anal Beads

You’ll find no shortage of explanatory pieces on the Internet when it comes to butt stuff. There are so many ways to explore the butt. Some people use fingers, while others prefer dildos or butt plugs. And, of course, people enjoy a mix of things. Yet in all of this ongoing hoopla, we’ve forgotten a […]

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