Ariana Madix on What It’s Like to Have an Eating Disorder on Reality TV

Health Information Relationships


Ariana Madix was famous. And then, seemingly overnight, she became very famous.

You’ve probably seen the headlines, if not followed every detail: Madix’s partner of nine years had a months-long affair with another cast member on Vanderpump Rules, the reality show on which they all starred. The tryst was so notorious that it became its own proper noun: Scandoval. (If it didn’t already ring a bell, it probably has now.)

It’s only been seven months since the story broke, but Madix has made a lifetime of moves since: She was on the cover of Glamour; attended the White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner; scored lucrative partnership deals with brands like Bic and Uber; and, for her next trick, landed a spot on season 32 of Dancing with the Stars, the beloved reality competition show where celebrities perform choreographed dance routines alongside professional partners.

On Vanderpump, Madix is best known for being real and fairly vulnerable, especially in contrast to her (sorry!) high-maintenance castmates. She’s been open about her mental health on the show for years, especially as it pertains to her history of navigating body image and self-esteem issues. She’s worked through difficult moments, including the deaths of her grandmother and dog, while the tapes were rolling. She keeps the conversation going off-air, too: On a February 2022 episode of her Vanderpump costar Scheana Shay’s podcast, “Scheananigans,” Madix said she had “a full-blown eating disorder” when she joined the Bravo show—the lingering effects of which she still deals with today.

Consider the number that being on reality TV, a famously cruel genre, would take on anyone’s self-esteem. (Even for someone who, like Madix, is conventionally attractive and thin.) Consider what it’s like to be on a show that specifically centers a group of young, thin, aspiring models and actors in Los Angeles—servers and bartenders who wear skimpy uniforms and participate in an annual horny photoshoot to promote SUR (which stands for “Sexy Unique Restaurant”), the West Hollywood restaurant that employs them. Then, consider how all of that’s compounded when you have a history of mental health issues that dates back to your adolescence.

Today, Madix is back on air—serving sambas instead of palomas. Her all-black bartender’s ensemble has been swapped for the glittering, sequined leotards that little kids dream about wearing on stage. Some things are the same—Madix is acting on her own volition, in the driver’s seat with her foot on the gas—and some are different. She’s not where she was, but, as she mentions more than once, she hasn’t entirely gotten to where she’s going yet, either. So when Ariana Madix looks at herself on screen today, what does she see now?

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https://www.self.com/story/ariana-madix-as-told-to

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