Righteous people protesting across the country in response to the murders of Black people; affirming that #BlackLivesMatter while police shoot protesters with rubber bullets, spray them with tear gas, and beat people with batons: These sounds are the music of revolution.
I often listen to rather than watch my news coverage, because as a Black person living in the U.S., seeing the images and videos of my fellow Black people being killed is activating, traumatizing, and more likely to send me into an anxiety spiral, followed by a period of depression. And my Black mind matters. So instead, I listen.
As I was listening to the news cover the nationwide protests on the night after George Floyd was murdered, a familiar tune popped into my head and suddenly my mind filled with the lyrics from the Janelle Monáe feat. Zoë Kravitz song “Screwed”:
And I, I hear the sirens calling And the bombs are falling in the streets We’re all screwed
All at once I felt a flush of emotion come over me. I felt vulnerable and fully seen. After I turned off the news, I turned on Dirty Computer and I felt OK again. It was at this moment that I decided to keep this album on repeat for the rest of 2020.
As a Black queer feminist elder-millennial living in the American South in 2020, I am far past exhausted by the killings of my beautiful Black people by police, and the complete absence of a response to protecting my community from COVID-19 and its often deadly effects. In an effort to find some semblance of solace and healthy ways to give my mind, body, and soul the space and time to heal, I listen to this album and take moments to breathe the sacred breath that white police and vigilantes alike stole from George Floyd, Eric Garner, Erica Garner, Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, Tony McDade, Rayshard Brooks, and a countless number of Black siblings who were taken from this world too soon.
When times get hard—which, unfortunately, is way too often for Black folks, queer and trans folks, and those of us who are continuously working towards the dismantlement of the patriarchy—I find hope and community in Black art, and for me, Janelle Monáe is the G.O.A.T. She has created space in movies, television, music, and entrepreneurship for Black queer feminists to be seen and validated as the everyday human beings and Q.U.E.E.N.’s that we indeed are.
Dirty Computer is a Black queer feminist love note to Black, queer, and femme America that reminds us we can celebrate blackness, march in the street to support #BlackLivesMatter, while falling in love with ourselves and others at the same time that we fight against the patriarchy. Though this album was released in 2018, each song on the album speaks to the current chaos that is happening in our country. Monáe centers the hard truths about what it means to be a truly unapologetically Black queer feminist in today’s America; yet, the album’s upbeat tone and melodies remind me that we must continue to cultivate resilience and celebrate our lives and demand the space to live our lives fully.
“Crazy, Classic, Life” showcases the joy of being “young, Black, wild, and free” in spite of the harsh realities that we face traversing this world every day:
Handcuffed in a bando White boy in his sandals
…Me and you was friends, but to them, we the opposite The same mistake, I’m in jail, you on top of shit You living life while I’m walking around moppin’ shit Tech kid, backpack, now you a college kid All I wanted was to break the rules like you All I wanted was someone to love me too
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