When my sister Dinah’s marriage ended after 25 years, one of her friends set up twice weekly “vent walks,” where my sister could say anything she wanted about her divorce — with no fear she was being a burden.
“After a while, you feel self-conscious talking about it,” Dinah told me, “like people want you to move on.”
About a third of American adults who marry end up getting a divorce. But for such a common experience, divorce can feel incredibly isolating, said Jeffrey Gardere, a clinical psychologist in Manhattan.
“It completely changes your life direction,” said Dr. Gardere, who is divorced himself. “You feel rudderless.”
A thoughtful, specific gesture like a “vent walk” can be a gift, he said. So I asked experts for other ideas to help a loved one who is going through a divorce.
Make plans during the toughest part of your friend’s week.
For those who are newly divorced, some parts of the week can be especially painful, said Claudia Glaser-Mussen, a psychotherapist in New York City.
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