My Daughter Doesn’t Want Me to Walk Her Down The Aisle

My 37-year-old daughter is getting married for a second time. It’s a church wedding and traditions are in play. Her mother divorced me 36 years ago. I was an active and present dad, and we have a good relationship. I never missed a weekend. I went to her functions, and she vacationed with my new […]

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Grandparent Doesn’t Agree With ‘Gentle Parenting’

My stepdaughter has been a single mother for about five years. She’s 45 and I recognize that it’s tough raising a 10-year-old girl while holding a full-time job and routinely jousting with an uncooperative ex-husband. I try my hardest to take everything into account. At issue is my stepdaughter’s unwavering adherence to this “gentle parenting” […]

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5 Ways to Support a Friend Through a Divorce

When my sister Dinah’s marriage ended after 25 years, one of her friends set up twice weekly “vent walks,” where my sister could say anything she wanted about her divorce — with no fear she was being a burden. “After a while, you feel self-conscious talking about it,” Dinah told me, “like people want you […]

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Closing Up Shop on a Marriage

The store sells all of life’s mundane items, which in the end get trashed, recycled or flushed. Items that are nothing but also everything: lint rollers, deodorant, greeting cards, magazines, school supplies, vitamins. That time I had a headache, or a sore throat, or that other time when my husband’s allergies flared up after we […]

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The Dentist Who Treated My Divorce

“Yes,” I said. I felt the tears welling up. “That’s it.” My childhood was plagued with jitters and loss related to problems of the mouth: tooth decay, tooth grinding, erratic spacing, several missing molars that an early dentist joked made me either spectacularly evolved or prehistoric. But worst of all were the extra canals in […]

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Our Kinder, Gentler, Nobody-Moves-Out Divorce

Of course, there are romantic costs on both sides. This is dating when your ex-husband shares a two-family home with you: A man comes over, leans in for a first kiss, and hears your son pit-patting in the apartment above. He tries to ignore it, but he can’t help but think, “The father of her […]

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Can a Good-Enough Marriage Make for a Great Divorce?

We texted back and forth in a delicate flurry. He said she was just a friend and of course he would have told me if anything was going on. We agreed to this as our first rule: If anything happens dating-wise, there needs to be a conversation. We agreed that that would probably be the […]

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We Wanted to Split Up. OkCupid Had Other Ideas.

Four years into our marriage, my husband found me on OkCupid. I had only joined the site to check out his profile. He had joined to find someone else. A friend helped me with the long sign-up process after we returned to my place from our weekly two-ounce glass of moscato at the Mission Inn […]

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Some People Flip Real Estate. I Flip Men.

And they arrived. In January last year, just before the pandemic, he had a crisis of faith and broke up with me. This time, it lasted. Neither of us entered this relationship thinking it would be forever, but still I was devastated. There is a peculiar kind of bittersweetness to living with a broken heart […]

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