What to Know Before You Start Therapy

I’m Christina Caron, a reporter covering mental health, and I’m filling in for Jancee Dunn this week.

When I was in college I decided to make my first ever mental health appointment with one of the school’s counselors. I remember very little from that conversation except that I was so nervous I was sweating. Also, I felt that the therapist often brushed off my worries.

At the time I didn’t understand that it was OK to push back a little. And the whole experience felt so awkward and uncomfortable that I quit after just a few sessions. My takeaway — although I’m sure this isn’t what the therapist intended — was that I needed to toughen up, pack my worries away and squash my fears rather than really digging into what was behind those feelings.

What I’ve since come to learn, especially now that I report on mental health, is that therapy can be helpful and even life-changing. But its success largely depends on your relationship with your therapist and the quality of your communication.

In case you’re thinking about seeing a therapist this year, or trying to find a new one, I asked several reputable therapists to share what they wished clients knew before their first session.

1. A strong bond is essential.

All of the therapists I consulted said that the most important thing to look for as you seek out counseling is a “good fit” — or the bond between therapist and client, which mental health professionals call the therapeutic alliance.

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