Using “I” statements in lieu of “you” statements is a cliche in couples therapy — and for good reason, Ms. Earnshaw said. Focusing on your own emotions can help prevent defensiveness. But she cautioned that people sometimes use “I” statements to veil criticism. “They might say something like, ‘Well, I feel like you are being a jerk,’” she said.
A true “I” statement focuses on what you feel and why. If, for instance, your partner comes home later than expected, you might say, “When I was waiting, I felt really lonely.”
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