Why Chosen Families are Important for L.G.B.T.Q. People

When Lenny Lasater moved to Georgia in her early 20s, it didn’t take long to find her family. She quickly met the Bickersons, a group of queer women scattered across the South who met through mutual friends and banded together. Each Bickerson had given herself a name that started with the letter B — Ms. […]

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Tiny Love Stories: ‘A Woman Who Had Only Dated Men’

Seen by a 7-Year-Old Transaction complete, the little girl grips her bag of Skittles and lingers at the concession table. She looks me in the eye and says, “You’re pretty.” Stunned, because I can’t remember when I last received an unsolicited compliment, and unsure I heard her correctly over the excited chatter of the crowd, […]

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Singleness Is Not a Stigma

Since my midteens, I have sought heartfelt friendships rather than romantic ones. Older relatives of mine, aunts and uncles, deem this a wise choice, especially the prudish ones who insist there’s still time. I’m still in college, but for me, it’s not about maturity but the widespread assumption that everyone is better off in an […]

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Logan Ury Says You’re Dating All Wrong

In May, she ran Propel, a weeklong, application-only “boot camp” for 128 people that cost $480 a person, and she is preparing to launch another larger, longer dating class in the fall. Sometimes, she does quicker hits; in 2021, she offered one-on-one, 90-minute “decision-making conversations.” People called her to ask if they should propose, if […]

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Tiny Love Stories: ‘Joy Waits for No One’

To Care and Carry I checked the time as we neared the airport, and my stomach sank. My wrist was bare, as it had been the day my son died suddenly more than 20 years before. Bad things happened when I forgot to wear my watch. My husband, who never knew my son, took my […]

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Not Every Breakup Is About Being Broken

I was dying the morning I met Sarah. I ordered a latte from the campus coffee shop because she had done the same. To make up for it, I starved myself until late that night. Luckily, it had been made with skim milk, not whole, so I was allowed to have dinner. With a pandemic […]

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May We Please Just Date Without Hate?

There’s a picture of us meeting in person for the first time on the second floor of the Port Authority Bus Terminal, taken via self-timer on Snapchat. It was September 2020. You can sense the awkward nervousness we felt, with his arm carefully placed behind my lower back and me giving the camera a big […]

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Tiny Love Stories: ‘You Never Call Me Anymore’

Sweet and Sour August, 1990. Walking along the Northern Ireland coast, we pass picnicking families, teenagers making out and an older couple holding hands as they watch cargo ships inch across the horizon. We buy lemontops — white whippy ice cream topped with Day-Glo squeezes of tangy slush. Michael asks me to marry him in […]

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I Bet You Think These Songs Are About You

If you want to think I’m a narcissist for assuming Millie’s Spotify playlists were about me, go ahead. In any case, they probably weren’t about you. Before Millie’s playlists, there was just Millie, the trombonist from Tinder I matched with in my first month of an ill-timed year abroad at Oxford University. It was September […]

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Modern Love Podcast: First Love Mixtape, Side B

When we asked this question at the start of the season, the responses came pouring in. We heard from present-day teens streaming their anthems on repeat, and we heard from listeners who have been with their partners for over 50 years. There were stories of jazz and rap, adrenaline rushes and loneliness, and many lessons […]

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Tiny Love Stories: ‘I Quietly, Foolishly Eloped’

She Chose Another Road I have a drawer full of magic. Serums, powders, creams, all promising to reverse time. Every day it takes me a bit longer to look how I think I should. My daughter, now 14, says she has no interest in “patriarchal standards of beauty.” I am at once glad and worried: […]

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Modern Love Podcast: Right Swipes, Big City

[theme music] anna martin From The New York Times, I’m Anna Martin, and this is the Modern Love podcast. This week’s essay is about dating apps. If you’re dating today, you kind of have to use them, and using them is exhausting. Bottom line: It’s just really hard to attract the kind of person you […]

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