Why Are Some Siblings Not Close?

“Siblings by chance, best friends by choice,” the cliché goes. But ask real people about their own family dynamics, and their reactions will probably vary. Some siblings are inseparable, talking daily and sharing even the most TMI dating updates. Others, however, have a bond that’s just cordial or, in some instances, completely estranged—as is allegedly […]

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7 Clever Ways to Take a Little Break From Your Family During the Holidays

Pro tip: “Communicate your situation before or as soon as you arrive,” Erica Turner, LMFT, owner of Rosewater Therapy in Alexandria, Virginia, tells SELF. In other words, let your loved ones know upfront that you may need to step away—to your room or even a nearby coffee shop to “really focus.” When you’ve already explained why you’re […]

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Why ‘Eldest Daughter Syndrome’ Might Make You the Best Partner, Friend, and Sibling

It’s easy to sense when someone’s the oldest child. Usually, she’s part neurotic, part anxious—always the first to send meticulously detailed calendar invites or drop words of wisdom whenever someone’s having a rough week. Ask any firstborn daughter you know, and she’ll relate to this kind of emotional maturity alongside the painfully familiar experience of […]

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Why the Older Sister and Younger Brother Is the Ultimate Green Flag

It’s easy to judge people based on their family setup (whether it’s fair or not). The “momma’s boy,” for instance, is overly dependent and immature. The “only child” has historically been characterized as selfish or spoiled. But there’s one particular dynamic garnering more positive attention: men who grew up with older sisters. Consider Luke Dunphy […]

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50 Questions to Ask Your Parents That’ll Bring You Closer Than Ever

You might think you know your parents pretty well. Maybe your mom gets weirdly excited about Costco runs, or your dad’s the type to insist on getting to the airport five hours early “just in case.” But how much do you really know them? Like…who were they in their 20s? What did they stay up […]

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Doing Nothing With Your Favorite People Is Really, Really Good for You

“With the rise of technology, social media, and constant connectivity, many people find themselves always ‘on,’ leaving little room for spontaneous, undistracted time with those closest to them,” Dr. Hafeez says. “Plus, the pressure to be productive—whether in work, school, or your personal life—has led to a culture where every minute must be accounted for, […]

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3 Things to Do If You’re Terrified of Your Parent Dying

My deepest fears love to show up right as I’m trying to drift off to sleep—anxious brains are fun like that—and lately, a recurring theme in my after-dark intrusive thoughts is my mom dying. I’ve been straight-up terrified of losing her since I was a little girl (for a bunch of sad, childhood-trauma-related reasons I […]

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How to Recover When Socializing Has Totally Drained Your Battery

This article is part of SELF’s second annual Rest Week, an editorial package dedicated to doing less. If the last few years have taught us anything, it’s that taking care of yourself, physically and emotionally, is impossible without genuine downtime. With that in mind, we’ll be publishing articles up until the new year to help […]

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6 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Cutting Off a Toxic Family Member

Again, if you feel that a family member poses an immediate threat to you (or your child, partner, or pets), you’re well within your rights to cease contact immediately. If any of the additional examples above sound familiar, it’s okay to choose to step back from interacting with them entirely—either for a sustained period or […]

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