Why Some Men Find Orgasms Elusive

Most men, as many as 70 percent, say they reach orgasm quicker than they’d like. But there is an inverse problem that can set in with age: lasting too long.

For some men, reaching climax can take 30 minutes or more. Sex that lasts this long can be uncomfortable, painful and distressing for men and their partners.

Delayed orgasm, as the condition is known, is more commonly associated with women — and for good reason, given the persistent orgasm gap in heterosexual relationships. But up to 10 percent of men over the age of 40 struggle with it, too. In extreme cases, some men can never reach climax, a disorder called anorgasmia.

Orgasm disorders are not well studied or understood, and the little research that does exist tends to focus on premature ejaculation, defined as unintentionally reaching orgasm within two minutes according to the American Urological Association.

But sexual health experts increasingly recognize delayed orgasm as a “huge problem,” said Dr. Rachel Rubin, a urologist and sex medicine specialist in Maryland. While there are no interventions approved by the Food and Drug Administration, there are some treatment options, including off-label medications, sex therapy and stimulating devices, as well as lifestyle and behavior changes.

How orgasms work

Orgasms are basically a massive reflex, kind of like a “giant sneeze,” Dr. Rubin said. Just one requiring a “perfect genital-brain connection.”

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