The Loneliness of the Locked-Down Single Mother

Health Information Lifestyle


“Will you please let me do my job?” she finally said, clearly annoyed.

I apologized but also started sobbing. “My husband just died, and I don’t have a Plan B. I don’t know what would happen to my daughter if I got sick.”

“I’m sorry,” she said, softening.

My husband died without a will. We were young, had no money. A will wasn’t a priority. That afternoon, I went home, called a lawyer, and soon made one, naming a close friend as my child’s legal guardian. Two weeks later, the biopsies came back benign.

The anxiety of parenting without a net didn’t subside, though. The next year, when I had to fly alone for the first time, I had a panic attack on the way to the airport. I called my friend and listed everything she needed to know about my daughter: her teacher’s name, the pediatrician’s phone number, where I stashed an emergency duplicate of a favorite blanket.

My friend listened patiently. When I stopped, she said, “You know you are only taking the shuttle to DC, right?”

Over time, I learned to prepare for certain events. Often, though, it was the smallest incidents that blindsided me. When my daughter was in third grade, her teacher had the class make Father’s Day cards. I was unaware of the project — all I knew is that she began to act out at home, culminating one afternoon in her bringing home an intricate, 3-D card she had made. With no father or grandfather, she couldn’t figure out what to do with it, so she smashed it to the floor.

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One night when she was 11, she spiked a fever of 105. I couldn’t get her to pick her head up off the floor, much less swallow an adult-sized Tylenol, which was all I had in the house. It was midnight when I reached the pediatrician on call.

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/04/15/style/modern-love-loneliness-locked-down-single-mother.html, GO TO SAUBIO DIGITAL FOR MORE ANSWERS AND INFORMATION ON ANY TOPIC

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