Queen says that the style of strap-on you choose can also depend on the size of your dildo. Underwear-style harnesses tend to be very comfortable, but if you want to use a large dildo, they probably won’t provide the support you need. If you like a large dildo, she suggests using a harness with straps you can tighten for support instead.
Harness sizing
The style of harness typically informs the type of sizing available; jockstraps and thongs with adjustable straps usually come in one or two sizes and can fit a variety of bodies, whereas underwear harnesses are sized like similar articles of clothing. Adjustable harnesses might be a better choice if you plan on sharing your harness with a partner or want the option to adjust based on fluctuations in your body size.
Comfort and ease of use
How comfortable a harness feels to wear and how easy it is to use can go hand in hand, or one element can detract from the other, depending on the quality or type of your harness. Cobb says that the two-strap styles tend to have much better stability than the single-strap thong, which might make it easier for beginners to control.
Comfort is a bit more personal. Cobb recommends looking at how low the harness would sit on your body. “Will it press uncomfortably on the pubic bone?” she says. “You don’t want you or your partner to be in pain while using the strap-on.”
When it comes to actually using your strap-on, sex educator Cassandra Corrado tells SELF that the best way to get used to it is simply by wearing it. Wear your harness around the house while you’re doing laundry or dishes, just to see how it feels on your body. Then add the dildo. “Get used to the weight and movement just when you move around your home,” she says. “Don’t be afraid to be a little silly and practice some thrusts too.”
If you practice taking your strap-on harness on and off and practice thrusting with your abs instead of your hips, you can feel more confident the first time you use your strap-on for real.
Harness material
You should also take into consideration the material, not only for comfort but also for how easy it is to clean and share, if that’s something you plan on doing. “Harnesses can be leather or fabric,” says Cobb. “Leather tends to be stronger. However, it’s a porous material and is not meant to be shared because you cannot sterilize it. Fabric or nylon harnesses are quite comfortable, washable, and can be used on multiple partners.”
Dildo compatibility
variety of dildos. O-rings can either be metal or a softer material like rubber, Queen says. Metal fittings can add to the design of a strap-on harness (imagine a black leather, strappy harness with bright silver fittings—sleek, right?). But metal is hard. If a harness has metal buckles, make sure they aren’t going to dig into you and your partner.
The best strap ons
Beyond that, there are a few more factors that might influence your taste as well (such as how a strap-on looks when you wear it or how easy it is to put on or swap out different dildos for more variety), but the above are solid starting points. With all of this in mind, here are some of the best strap-ons and harnesses to choose from—recommended by people who use ’em. We included both combo kits and individual harnesses.
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