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The Third ‘Fourth’ Is the Charm While I was dancing, another grad student said, “I know someone who dances just like you.” “No one dances like me,” I said; besides, I was pursuing women. But next semester, when I saw Steve, a decidedly male student in a turtleneck, my entire body shook with passionate interest. […]
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Full Circle Home on short-term disability, my back “out” again, I hobbled on a cane to a lunchtime Brooklyn 12-step meeting to mark my fourth anniversary sober. After the meeting, Tom wished me congratulations and we exchanged numbers with plans for coffee. A few days later, waiting on 12th Street and 7th Avenue in Park […]
Continue ReadingTo See Clearly When people see my 20-year-old son George holding my hand, they often stare. I hold George’s hand as we cross busy streets or navigate through crowded grocery aisles. We learned that George had profound autism at age 3, an intellectual disability at age 6 and bipolar disorder at age 15. He is […]
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Our Silent Fire One recent summer evening, my husband and I were sitting by the fire pit at our home north of Chicago, watching the flames dance, feeling tired but content. If someone had been watching us, they may have thought, “Now there’s a couple with nothing to talk about.” But, after 38 years of […]
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Among the Ivy After a terrible year (I was attacked in my home then suffered through a difficult divorce), my elderly parents visited and helped me pull the ivy that had swallowed my backyard. My father said, “Don’t let that take over again, Irene.” Ten years later, while grappling with stubborn regrowth, I found dad’s […]
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I Know Which “You’ll know when he’s ‘the one’,” my mother said. She died when I was 20, leaving no further guidance. At 23, I was stale inventory by Jewish matchmaking standards. Despair settled in. Until one Shabbat afternoon when Phil, an old friend of my roommate, breezed into our 93rd Street apartment. He was […]
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My Advice If you decide to flirt with a stranger by sliding into his Twitter DMs, brew a cup of tea first. Then, sit. Sip the tea. Breathe deeply. Allow yourself to swell with giddiness. Don’t charge forward, rushing with new messages, just because you cannot tolerate the vulnerability of reaching out. That will result […]
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Seen by a 7-Year-Old Transaction complete, the little girl grips her bag of Skittles and lingers at the concession table. She looks me in the eye and says, “You’re pretty.” Stunned, because I can’t remember when I last received an unsolicited compliment, and unsure I heard her correctly over the excited chatter of the crowd, […]
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To Care and Carry I checked the time as we neared the airport, and my stomach sank. My wrist was bare, as it had been the day my son died suddenly more than 20 years before. Bad things happened when I forgot to wear my watch. My husband, who never knew my son, took my […]
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Sweet and Sour August, 1990. Walking along the Northern Ireland coast, we pass picnicking families, teenagers making out and an older couple holding hands as they watch cargo ships inch across the horizon. We buy lemontops — white whippy ice cream topped with Day-Glo squeezes of tangy slush. Michael asks me to marry him in […]
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She Chose Another Road I have a drawer full of magic. Serums, powders, creams, all promising to reverse time. Every day it takes me a bit longer to look how I think I should. My daughter, now 14, says she has no interest in “patriarchal standards of beauty.” I am at once glad and worried: […]
Continue ReadingTo Honor Our Own Tastes Durian. It’s love or hate with this fruit. In my family, only Grandma and I were fans. Because of its pungent odor, my family members with milder tastes made a house rule: Durian must be consumed in the parking lot or playground, never indoors. Indignant and banished, I found comfort […]
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