It might be scary at first, but remember that people are wired to connect, Dr. Murthy added. Sharing honestly, and inviting others to do likewise, “can be incredibly powerful,” he said.
Minimize distractions.
How often have you caught yourself looking at your phone while someone is speaking with you? What about during meals? Do other people do this when speaking with you? For more satisfying quality time, put the devices down and give your full attention.
“Focus on the conversation,” he said. “Listening is as important as what we say.”
While you’re at it, scale back on social media. Virtual connection is not a replacement for in-person time with the important people in your life. Despite the ever-increasing opportunities to connect online, Americans report having fewer friends than they did decades ago.
“Over thousands of years we evolved to not only understand the content of what someone was saying but also to respond to the tone of their voice, to read their body language and to experience their presence,” Dr. Murthy said. “And we lose a lot of that when we are communicating electronically.”
When people call, pick up the phone.
Imagine your phone ringing. You see it’s a call from your best friend from college whom you haven’t caught up with in a long time. But instead of accepting the call, you decide not to answer. You tell yourself you’ll call back later when you have more time to chat.
Next time, Dr. Murthy said, pick up the phone and talk. If you’re in the middle of something, say, “Hey, it’s really good to hear your voice,” and then find another time to talk.
“That 10 seconds feels so much better than going back and forth on text,” he said.
Serve others.
Studies show that volunteering can ease feelings of loneliness and broaden our social networks. Consider donating your time to an organization in your community, or offering to help your family, co-workers or friends.
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