How to Cope With a Scary Diagnosis

Two years ago, Joelle Kaufman scheduled a preventive double mastectomy after witnessing her mother and sister undergo treatment for breast cancer. But the day before her surgery, she received a shocking call from her doctor: A routine screening had revealed a malignant tumor.

“Two thousand things were going through my mind,” said Kaufman, an executive coach and the author of “Crushing the Cancer Curveball.”

She couldn’t form a coherent thought beyond: What should I do now?

A diagnosis of a serious illness can be overwhelming, whether it’s happening to you or someone you love. So I asked Kaufman and other experts about what to do immediately after hearing bad news — and in the weeks to come.

Focus on right now.

Everyone responds differently to a distressing diagnosis; there is no right or wrong way to feel, said Stephanie Alonso, an outpatient oncology social worker at UChicago Medicine.

Don’t feel pressure to be positive, or to be a “fighter,” Kaufman said.

Instead, remind yourself that you do not have to make every decision at once, said Alison Snow, senior director of oncology social work at Mount Sinai in New York. Ask yourself: What do I need to get through the next hour? What do I need to get through this day?

Writing down your thoughts can be therapeutic “and stop them from spiraling,” Dr. Snow said.

If you’re being treated at a hospital, ask if they have a social worker on staff who can share resources to help you cope with the emotional, financial and logistical needs that may arise, Alonso said.

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